Sympathy Poem Generator
Write a sympathy message or poem that helps rather than intrudes. Short, honest and editable. Free and private.
A blank page, for now
Choose a form on the left, tell it what the poem is about, and it will write. You can edit every line afterwards.
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Writing a sympathy poem
Writing to someone who has just lost a person is mostly an exercise in not making it worse. The fear of saying the wrong thing is why so many people say nothing at all, which is the one genuinely wrong option.
Three things that make it work
Do not claim to understand
Even if you have lost someone too. "I know how you feel" moves the attention onto you at the moment they have least capacity for it.
Say the dead person's name
The bereaved are often surrounded by careful people avoiding it. Using the name is a small, real kindness.
Offer something specific or nothing
"Let me know if you need anything" asks a grieving person to do work. "I will bring food on Thursday" does not.
What to avoid
Everything happens for a reason, they are at peace, time heals. All three ask the grieving person to feel better for your comfort.
An example
I have no useful thing to say about Michael, only that he laughed at his own jokes first, and that I keep expecting him in the doorway. I am bringing soup on Thursday. You do not have to answer.